Uncomfortable Conversations

"I believe that success can be measured in the number of uncomfortable conversations you're willing to have."
- from The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss

As mentioned in a previous post I recently finished reading The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss and this quote really changed my thinking. Up until this point I had a bad habit of not voicing my opinion if I was unhappy about something. Instead I would just be upset and grumble about it, but never even discuss my concerns with anyone who could actually do anything about it.

Once I read this book, I committed to share my opinion more. If I disagree with something that is going to be a long-term concern for me, I do my best to take the first chance I have of sharing my opinion and concerns. When I do this, I try hard to not be confrontational, but to merely share my concerns and frustrations. Sometimes the other party makes a change to accomodate my concerns and sometimes they don't but either way I feel better because at least I have shared my thoughts.

The Sucker's Choice

I was so influenced by this quote I am now reading "Crucial Conversations". I will share more from this book once I finish, but I've found one thing early on in this book that has really stuck with me. The author says that when there is a crucial conversation to be had, sometimes we think it's alright to be rude or mean to the other party, rationalizing afterwards that it just had to be said. They refer to this as the "Sucker's Choice". In actuality the options of either saying nothing or saying too much are not the only choices.

Now, as my coworkers can attest, I am still absolutely horrible about this. However, I do believe strongly that in order to be successful in life you have to be willing to have the difficult conversations. I have seen so many good relationships ruined because one party is unwilling to have an uncomfortable conversation when it is so necessary. I believe it is best to be as honest with people as possible. I'm not suggesting you need to be unnecessarily rude like Piers Morgan on America's Got Talent, although I usually agree with his opinion. Instead, do all you can to create a solid relationship with people so you can have these types of conversations and move forward due to your strong mutual desire to create something better.

Have you ever seen someone's unwillingness to have an uncomfortable conversation cause a bigger problem than it prevented? What about you? Do you have the relationship with your team that allows you to openly share your opinion and be heard? How do you handle it when someone initiates one of these conversations with you?